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dedication

To Win, Back Yourself Against a Cliff

September 26, 2011 by Shelli

I am a goal-oriented person. I always am working on a goal, or ten.

From time to time, I refer to the goals I set as Ulysses pacts. A Ulysses pact, or contract, is a self-made decision that binds one to the future. The term refers to the pact Ulysses (Odysseus) made with his men as they approached the Sirens. Sirens were the three dangerous bird women/seductresses who lured nearby sailors with their enchanting music to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island.

Ulysses wanted to hear the Sirens’ song but he knew doing so would render him irrational so he put wax in his men’s ears so that they were unable to hear, and had them tie him to the mast so that he could not jump into the sea. He then ordered them not to change course under any circumstances, and to keep their swords upon him to attack him if he should break free of his bonds. (Source: Wikipedia.org)

I set many goals and achieve most of them. And while I don’t take it to the extreme that Ulysses did, I understand his thinking. I absolutely credit the achievement of my goals to my level of commitment to them, and to the fact I tie them to short-term consequence(s) with no chance for compromise. I’m sharing what works for me here in hopes it will be of value to others.

It’s pretty easy to decide to do something. How many of us decide we’re going to eat healthier starting this week? But we don’t. Or we’re going to start going exercising again, and/or we’re going to join a gym.  But we don’t. We are going to limit our alcohol consumption, or give up smoking. But we don’t. We are going to start saying “no” more often. But we don’t. We are going to spend less time watching television. But we don’t. We are going to read more. But we don’t. The list goes on. We all do it.

Deciding, while it’s a start, is not enough. I think pretty hard about something I want to achieve before deciding it is a goal. Then, I commit. (Deciding and committing, while they go together, are not the same things. The distinction is critical. Please watch this video for more.)

Further, if the goal is too big, or too vague then it’s likely the goal won’t be achieved. I would have little chance at succeeding if I were to say, “I want to be healthier” or “I want to watch less television.” The goal needs to be very specific, with no ambiguity. As Chip and Dan Heath so effectively put it in their awesome book, Switch, we should “shrink the change” (make the goal not so vague or big) to increase our likelihood of success.

For me to have any chance at succeeding at a goal, I make a big deal of it to those closest to me. I need not only their support, but also, very importantly, their accountability.

So commitment is the first requirement. Tying the commitment it to short-term consequence(s) is the second.

Neuroscientiest David Eagleman, in an EXCELLENT Radiolab.org podcast, called “Help!,” says one of the best strategies for breaking a habit or making a change or achieving a goal is to tie it to “some sort of emotional salience — some reason why they matter to us right now, otherwise they will never work.”

A personal example is my weight loss journey that started in March of 2009. After three years of growing lazy, overweight and out of shape, the feeling of disgust and regret that I met with every single night when I went to bed served as the best motivator and consequence in my mission to lose weight and get healthy again.

My goal was a long-term one – to be a vibrant mother and wife who takes care of her health and body. But the short-term consequences were what did it for me and kept me true to my commitment to good health once I set that goal. I tied the future goal to a short-term feeling of disgust and regret. I did not want to feel that way. So my battle became a battle of disgust vs. desire (to not exercise and to keep eating too much junk food). In my humble opinion and experience, disgust almost always wins over desire.

Thomas C. Schelling is a Nobel Peace Prize-winning economist who has written a lot about the idea of commitment. (Being a fanatic about commitment, I enjoyed his Strategies of Commitment, which I highly recommend.)

In the same, aforementioned Radiolab podcast, Schelling talks about arranging commitment “so you can’t compromise.”

An example he gives is from ancient Greece. A Greek being pursued by a huge army of Persians had to make a stand on a hillside, and one of his generals said “I don’t think this is a good location to make our stand. There is a cliff behind us. There’s no way we can retreat if we need to.” He told the General, “Exactly.”

Schelling personally enlisted this strategy in his own life. In the Radiolab.org podcast, Schelling tells of his own win over smoking. In 1980, after many failed attempts to quit smoking, he gathered his children together, and told them, “I quit.” But that wasn’t all. He told them they “should never have respect for their father again” if he returned to smoking. Guess what? He never smoked again.

I will give one more example of a goal of mine with short-term consequence, which is far less significant than giving up smoking, but illustrates the effectiveness of the strategy this post is about.

I’m on Day 7 of a 30-day “no nuts or fruits” pact. If I screw up, my short-term consequences for the week are: 1) I cannot have the scoops of ice cream I have on Friday with my sons during our traditional weekly ice cream social, and 2) I have to train/exercise in the streets of Lander, which would mean forgoing the trails in the canyon, foothills and mountains above town, where I prefer to train. (Of course, fruits and nuts are good for a person. But I eat an excessive amount of both, so this is simply a pact to clean my slate on these items before reintroducing them at reasonable and healthy levels.)

By the way, upon hearing the Sirens’ song, Ulysses was driven temporarily insane and struggled with all of his might to break free so that he might join the Sirens, which would have meant his death.

But this is beside the point. He survived AND he didn’t give in to the Sirens. Right? Thanks for listening, and good luck with your goals.

Shelli Johnson is a life/leadership coach. Her business, YOUR EPIC LIFE, Life Should Take Your Breath Away, combines coaching with an epic adventure. Email her for more information.

RELATED POST:
Self Control is an Exhaustible Resource

Filed Under: Family, Life and Leadership Tagged With: achievement, challenge, commitment, dedication, goals

Are You Deciding, or Are You Committing?

December 21, 2010 by Shelli

If you’re like me right now, with only a few days until Christmas and with homemade sweets at every turn, you might be thinking about New Year Resolutions. Most of us are indulging, justifying it by saying, “Once the new year gets here, I’ll make changes.” For now, pass me the fudge. And the pecan sandies. And the egg nog, and while you’re at it, the Irish creme and everything else that’s full of yummy.

So, I’m recycling a video blog I did some months ago. Thanks to my good friend, Sharon Terhune, (a fellow athlete at Elemental Training Center) for interviewing me about a distinction I made between deciding and committing that enabled me to lose significant weight and get myself into good health.

Filed Under: Family, Fitness Tagged With: commitment, dedication, elemental training, fat loss, Fitness, training

Day Started Like Only a Monday Could

November 29, 2010 by Shelli

So, as some of you know I go to the gym three mornings a week at “dark thirty” to work out.

Today was one of those days. I awoke to 6″ of fresh snow on the ground. That was great! But then things went downhill, fast.

As I dashed outside in the deep snow I accidentally pressed the alarm/panic button on my car’s remote. Oops. After what seemed like an eternity, but was really (only) 3 alerts, I was able to stop the panic. I’m sure I am now black-listed by all my neighbors. Certainly, I would understand.

Then, I could not get the driver’s door, or any of the doors, open. I’m pretty strong… Were they frozen solid?

So I did what would be considered by many of my girlfriends who are wives as unthinkable. I went and woke Jerry up to ask him if he could help me get the door(s) open on the car so I could be on my way.

I do not deserve Jerry. He was down there opening my door in no time (by pressing the “unlock” button on the remote). He even went the “extra extra mile” and scraped my windows. (BTW, he looked pretty good in his boxes and pack boots). Then the driver’s side wiper broke. It stopped wiping. Oh well.

On the upside, I had a great workout and saw a huge buck (a male mule deer with a huge antlers) on the way home so my little adventure at dark thirty had a happy ending.

Filed Under: Family, Fitness Tagged With: dedicated, dedication, gym

Deciding & Committing are Different Things

January 30, 2010 by Shelli

This is POST 20 of my “fitness journey.” For backstory, see Post 1,
Post 2, Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7,Post 8, Post 9, Post 10, Post 11, Post 12Post 13,Post 14, Post 15, Post 16, and Post 17,Post 18 and Post 19.]

For more than three years, I decided — every single night — that the next day I was going to get out of the rut I was in and start exercising regularly and eating and living a much healthier life. But I never kept it up. It never lasted.

Here is a video blog where I discuss what I think finally made me keep it up.

Thanks to my family, friends and trainer for all of the wonderful support, love and guidance. It would be a lot more difficult to remain committed without all of you.

Thanks, also, to friend and fellow Elemental Gym athlete, Sharon Terhune, for conducting this interview. : >

Elemental Gym has a fantastic gym, some terrific programs and classes that will help you achieve better fitness. And, I might add, some great personal trainers: Steve Bechtel, Ellen Bechtel, Jagoe Reid, Sophie Mosemann and Lee Brown.

Filed Under: Family, Fitness Tagged With: dedication, Fitness, health, weight loss

Dedicated? You Bet My Freezing Butt I Am

December 9, 2009 by Shelli

Photo says it all.
Photo says it all.

This is POST 16 of my “fitness journey” blogging. For backstory, see Post 1,
Post 2, Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7,Post 8, Post 9, Post 10, Post 11, Post 12Post 13, Post 14 and Post 15..]

I suppose many of you think I’m dedicated to fitness because I go to the gym at 4:15 am three days a week, well before most people are even stirring in bed. There’s a good chance that I’m home and showered before most people’s alarm clocks go off. All I can say to all of you still in bed is (a resentful) Good for You.

On mornings like today’s, however, I am envious and probably more apt to claim I could be a little off kilter. Nuts, even.

You see, it was –21 degrees in Lander, WY, as I got up and drove to Elemental Gym.

If before you weren’t certain I was nuts, this should solidify it. : >

Filed Under: Fitness Tagged With: cold, dedication, exercise, Fitness, freezing, training, weight loss

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About Shelli

Hi. My name is Shelli Johnson. I live on the frontier in Lander, Wyoming. I’m a wife, a mother, an entrepreneur, certified life/leadership coach, wellness coach, keynote presenter and inspired speaker, leadership development facilitator, personal development strategist, writer and adventure guide. This blog mostly includes stories about adventures and travel, but other passions are reading/books, technology, fitness, nutrition, and national parks, so you’ll find a wide range of articles here. I am founder of Yellowstone Journal and YellowstonePark.com, and NationalParkTrips.com, which was my first business. My current company, Epic Life Inc., is in its 7th year, and going gangbusters. If you’re interested in learning more about my current work, I hope you’ll jump over there and learn more about that. I have a more personal blog, more directly related to life and living and leadership, at YourEpicLife.com/blog. I’d love it if you’d also check out that collection of my writings. Thank you for stopping by! Finally, if you’d like to connect with me directly, please email me if you’d like to connect.

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